Too Slow

Too slow
That’s what happened
Too slow
That’s the fact in my life

I hesitated
I was afraid
I didn’t want to push

So I hesitated
So I said no
That’s when I realized
That a part of me will always this
No matter the time that passes
Or how our lives may change

I was too slow
That’s what happened
I was too slow
to face my fear
Now the time has passed
I’ll smile as you fly
But I’ll always remember
That I was too afraid

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The Human Mind

The human mind.
What a strange thing.
A massive void of infinity
In something smaller
Than a watermelon.

Though not measured by science
Or seen by the eyes
Its presence is felt
Its existence
Never in doubt

Capable of making
The greatest dreams,
Gathering knowledge,
And store within
A vast expanse.

Yet the mind is not a wonder
But rather something else
A place where fears hide
Where hate and pain festers
There it grows and spreads

Though at the same time
The mind is strong
Defending itself
Fighting to be strong
Recovering from hurts

Though a writer may create a thousand world
Forming hope and wonder for countless others
Fear though builds an ironclad prison.
Trapping the soul
Breaking the heart

Such a strange thing
The mind is
A place where light and dark exists
Where pain and hope lives
Where creativity dwells

This is the human mind

Stepping Out.

In recent weeks it has become a challenge for me to look ahead with hope. Life hasn’t gone exactly as planned after college. I don’t have a solid job or my own place. I am not moving forward into the world and making massive changes to the media industry as I thought I would be doing a year ago.

With that staring me in the face, I have become worried that I am not ready to be an adult and do the adult thing of living and being productive members of society. That line of thought just snowballed and I wondered if I did the right thing all those prior years before me. Doubt started eating away at me.

But then my friend sent this message to me:

“Don’t get stuck because you’re too afraid to step out.”

I thought about what she said and she was right.

I was going to settle for a job that I didn’t go to college for  because it was easier than chasing after my dreams. I wanted a simple job because I knew then I would have a steady job and be safe with income and paying off loans. But I wouldn’t be happy with my lot in life.

I wasn’t stepping out to do what I set out to do because I was afraid. I was holding back to avoid the pain of fighting life’s obstacles. I feared that the challenges would stronger than me. I feared that I would fail and be a disappointment.

I was willing to get stuck at a job  because of my fear.

No inventor has succeeded without taking risk. No scientist found a great discovery by avoiding the failures of experiments.

For me, stepping out means getting a job to secure a form of income. To have confidence who I am and believe that I do know what I am doing. Not getting stuck is to continue to apply myself. Instead of shying away from jobs that I want but don’t have skills for, I will chase them while getting the skills to do that job.

Stay the Course

Steady hands
Calm mind

Ignore the storm gales
Ignore the deadly rocks

Focus and see
The path between

Hear the encouraging words
Seize them with both hands

The trial may be far from over
But you are not done for

Steady hands
Calm mind

You can weather this storm
You are strong and courageous

Stay the course before you
You’ve made this far

Stay the course

Scared

I recently watched an episode of Flash and one of the characters, Joe, made this statement: “Being scared is good. Scared is what keeps us alive.” (more or less). And there is a measure of truth to it. Fear is a part of caution, keeps us from doing stuff that are utterly stupid in most cases. Examples: running in front of cars to see how fast you are. Or trying to ride on the edge of a car.

Fear keeps us aware of possible dangers.

But scared also prevents us moving forward.

Scared keeps us where we are. Scared keeps us from facing what we need to. Whether it is facing the chance of failing or stepping into a new chapter of life, fear can ruin it. Fear and being scared keeps us from learning how to ride a bike or apply to jobs. Fear keeps us rooted in places that we don’t like because we fear the unknown.

But think about all the things that would have changed if fear was allowed to dominate.

The first time an entire city was powered by electricity, the practice run failed. Do you think they would have succeeded if the fear of failure controlled them? What about the Wright brothers and their flying machine? Do you think the fear of death by a mad machine flickered across their heart?

Probably so but they choose not to let fear try something new: flight.

In my personal life, I have realized that fear forms the base of many of my choices. I stay cautious and keep to the well tread because I fear failure, fear making a mistake.

And I for one am tired of being afraid.

Easier said then done as they saying goes but I will step out and fight against my fear. For me, I will ask myself if my choice is being driven by fear or not. And if it is, I will step back and approach the decision from another angle.

And to those of you who are also afraid, you are not alone.

So here is to stepping forward, acknowledging our fear but not letting it hobble our steps.

Fear

Fear

It holds the soul with steel bands
With claws that sink into the soul
Chaining it in place
Sealing away the heart

Fear

A wall made by the mind
A prison of words and thoughts
Built by one’s self
Or by the acts of others

Yet freedom can be had

A simple step
Face the fear
Face the terror
Such a simple act

But such a brave act

Courage to face the relative
Courage to challenge the mirror
To believe in one’s self
To believe in hope beyond

You can do it

Take the step into the new world
Take the first act to heal yourself
Not for someone else
Not because someone said

But for yourself